wisdom or coincidence
everything happens for a reason?
“I don’t believe in coincidence” is something I thought I would never say. One thing life has taught me over and over again is to never say never; what you run from will chase you harder.
All my life has been a series of realizations about why things had to happen the way they did for me to become the person I am today. Which is why I believe nothing is a coincidence and hopefully, by the end of this read, you won’t either.
I was 10, sitting in a lecture where one of my favorite teachers, Ms. Sofia, said:
“If you enter your kitchen and see a freshly baked cake right out of the oven, you would obviously think someone baked it, right? Or would you think that by some coincidence all the ingredients fell into a bowl, an earthquake mixed them up, shoved them into the oven with the perfect heat, and somehow it baked itself?”
This was the easiest way she could have explained to a ten year old that coincidence does not exist.
What she didn’t realize was how she made my life so simple and comfortable by this one example. After learning how nothing in my life could be a coincidence I became more open to life because bad experiences didn’t discourage me but rather encouraged me to find my treasure in it.
And to understand what I mean by ‘finding your treasure’ you need to read ‘The Alchemist’.
I read somewhere that “when you need to learn a lesson from a book, that book finds you at the perfect time.” I read The Alchemist when I was 19; God knew that I needed to.
If you have already read this book, you must have noticed how the word “Maktub” is constantly referred to throughout the story.
“Maktub” is the word the whole story is essentially based on. The word “Maktub” is Arabic and means recorded, written, or decreed. It is deeply rooted in Islamic and Sufi perspectives, emphasizing the idea that life is part of a larger divine plan.
Throughout the book, every time this word is mentioned, its meaning is given as:
“It is written.”
why written?
In Islam, we hold the belief that everything that has happened, is happening and will happen is written in Al-Lawh Al-Mahfuz (The Preserved Tablet). The word Al-Lawh means The tablet, while the word Al-Mahfuz means The Protected/Preserved. The first thing Allah created was the pen. He said to it: ‘write’. It said ‘What shall I write?’ He said: ‘Write everything that will happen until the Day of Judgment.’
Therefore nothing happens in this world without the knowledge of Allah.
“Indeed, all things We created with predestination.”
— Qur'an 54:49
Predestination?
If everything that will happen is already written and decided, then do we not have free will? Why should we even try or work hard if whatever is written will eventually happen anyway? These are the questions I started asking myself.
If you also ask yourself this question then go easy on yourself and know that this is the deepest theological discussion in Islam. What you believe is predestination is simply ‘Qadr’.
What is Qadr?
In its literal meaning Qadr means, destiny but in the Islamic theology the term Qadr emphasizes the knowledge of Allah and power over all things.
Many different people take the idea of Qadr differently as in God has made us robots who have to do what we are directed to do so. You will understand Qadr when you understand that there are two truths about life; one is that God has knowledge over what will happen and what will happen is already written, the second is that within that system humans have been given the ability to intend, choose and act.
Allah’s knowledge about what we will choose does not mean that He forced the choice upon us.
In one of my psychology classes, there was a lecture about “the self.” If you don’t know, there is a part of our consciousness that recognizes the self, even though there is no complete biological explanation behind it.
There is no tiny spot in the brain called “the self,” yet we all experience a subjective inner awareness. Science can explain mechanisms, but subjective consciousness itself still remains unresolved.
If we were merely robots acting out predetermined actions without choice, then Islam would not describe us as beings with moral awareness, intellect, responsibility, and consciousness.
The Qur’an often emphasizes the human ability to make decisions,
“Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is within themselves.”
— Quran 13:11
If we were destined in a way where we had no choice, we wouldn’t have a religion which encourages questions. The Quran has many verses that encourage reflection.
“Indeed, in the creation of the heavens and the earth… are signs for people who think.”
— Qur’an 3:190
Islam encourages thinking so much that, seeking knowledge is considered an act of worship. In Islam, faith (iman) is ideally meant to become conscious and understood not merely inherited.
In the book ‘The Alchemist’ among many beautiful quotes is one that I go back to again and again,
“We are afraid of losing what we have, whether it’s our life or our possessions and property. But, this fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and the history of the world were written by the same hand”.
We, as a society, have become increasingly anxious because we have forgotten that no matter how many rejections we face, we will ultimately receive what is destined for us. If that scares you, you need to remind yourself that your life story is written by the same creator that created this beautiful universe.
Every time you look at a beautiful sunrise or sunset, ocean, the moon, the snow, the mountains and much more, remember you were created by the same lord. How can the thought of future scare you when your life story was written by a lord so merciful.
My favorite book of all time, The forty rules of love has a saying something like;
“ Your idea of God is a direct reflection of you, if you believe God is angry and revengeful it’s because you are. If your idea of God is loving, merciful and forgiving that because thats who you are.”
Next time you don’t trust Allah’s plans, ask yourself do you not trust God or yourself.
As the famous and amazing Palestinian writer said,
“We went too far in our thinking and forgot that destinies are written.”
so now everytime you dwell on something, cry over someone or felt an opportunity missed remember,
Maktub.
Now that it’s clear how life is already written and nothing is a coincidence, you need to understand ‘wisdom’.
Wisdom is not something you simply have, but rather something you continuously discover.
When I was 19, I thought the 18 year old version of me was immature. Now that I’m 20, I KNOW the 19 year old me was immature too. The more you grow, the more you learn about life.
However, I do believe you earn a little wisdom every time you truly learn from your life lessons.
In school and college, we knew exactly what we were learning so we knew exactly what we will be questioned on, but with life in its beauty you never know at what moment you have to learn a lesson. Unlike your exams life doesn’t have a pre-schedule given to you.
When a lesson in life does fall before you, you have a choice, either to repeat it or to learn from it.
My life has been a series of repeated mistakes and I have learned that if I don’t learn my lesson, life makes me sit the same exam again. If you have a pattern of repeating the same mistake agin and again then chances are you are not learning the lesson you have to. Someone I know and dearly love has always had friends who walked all over them and the friendship break up always ends up hurting more than anything but the problem would not stop until that individual doesn’t learn the lesson that needs to be learn which in this case is boundaries. Any relationship in the world needs boundaries and if there is no boundary then there will be no relationship.
The point is: you may not always have the same people around you throughout your life, but you will always have yourself. So sit with yourself and change what you know will continue haunting you until you finally confront it.
There is no such thing as coincidence. You are exactly where you needed to be, and let that be a comfort.
Wisdom is not found in reading books, being intelligent, or having a perfect life. It is found in knowing yourself.
Coincidence writes the story. Wisdom decides what it means.